The Plan in Action, Update

Item number 7 on my list of things to do today was to report back on how my day went, so here I am! I’m feeling much better than I was this morning; my pain levels are a considerably more manageable 4-5 at the moment and I’m still in a great mood. I am, however, utterly exhausted. I didn’t get a chance to take a nap, so I’ve decided to go to bed early instead.

As for the rest of my list, I have to admit that I didn’t stick to it very well. Obviously, I completed number one this morning and I did get to relax with a cup of tea and my book. After that, things didn’t go exactly as planned. Instead of lounging outside, I spent a good chunk of my morning following the stock market. My dad is trying to teach me a thing or two about day trading, so I figured the least I could do was put some effort into it. 🙂 No, it’s not the most exciting, (or relaxing), thing to do, but I did learn some new things and hopefully, someday I’ll be able to make some money doing it.

I did make it to item number four, I spent a very pleasant afternoon chatting with my mom and dad in law. It’s the first time since I started this project of mine that I’ve actually sat down and talked to them for more than a few minutes. Sadly, they were among the group of people who I previously pushed away from myself, today’s visit was my first step towards truly letting them be involved in my life.

You know what? It was awesome and I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner.

I really wasn’t sure what to expect since I’ve never really spent much time with them when my husband wasn’t around. I know, that probably seems odd, but I really did spend entirely too much energy keeping people away from me.

Regardless, it was a great afternoon, for the first time ever, I opened up and actually talked to them. I told them about my plan to heal myself and invited them to follow my blog. I cried my eyes out while my second mom held my hand as I explained how truly miserable I had been and how ashamed I was of my behavior.

Not only had they already forgiven me, they understood why things had been the way they were and all this time had just been giving me space to do what I needed to do. Seriously, I could not ask for a better family than the one I have; I have four fabulous parents who, whether I was aware of it or not, have been behind me every step of the way and continue to support my efforts as I work towards putting my life back together.

Since I know they’re all reading this, I just want to say: thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I spent the entire afternoon and part of the early evening with my in laws, which is why I didn’t get around to that nap. After such an emotional, (but profoundly amazing), afternoon, I was too wiped out to take the walk I had planned either. Seriously, it’s just about bed time.

Even though my day started out utterly miserable, and didn’t go exactly as planned, I’m going to call this experiment a total success. I was able to get past the pain and fatigue without hiding in bed all day. I may have been short several spoons, but I was able to carry on with my plan to bring the people I love back into my life.

Today, I won.

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