I hate clowns.

You would think that after dealing with something for nearly 13 years, you would be completely familiar with it. For instance, Fibromyalgia has been a part of my life for, you guessed it, nearly 13 years. Yet, just today, I discovered a new, or at least new to me, symptom: Raynaud’s Phenomenon. I have never been a fan of the cold, in my world, cold = pain. However, today, things got so much worse.

We had a huge snowstorm here last night, which left something like a foot of snow outside. Even with my aversion to the cold, I can’t resist that kind of potential for fun, so I got bundled up, (literally, two or three of everything), and went out. Within about 5 minutes, the tips of my fingers started to tingle. I wondered about it, but ignored it, figuring my body would eventually adapt. Finally, after about 20 or so minutes outside, I couldn’t take it anymore. By the time I got inside, the pain in my fingers was so bad I had tears in my eyes; on a scale of 1 to 10, this was a 12. Thinking I had somehow managed to get some sort of mild frost bite, I de-gloved and noticed that my finger tips were white, with a hint of blue at the base of my nails. Ok, no need to freak out… Let’s just try to get warmed up. I ran cool water over my fingers. It felt HOT. Like, scalding, except that when it hit my palms, I could tell that it was, in fact nearly ice-cold. It took a while, but I was eventually able to (SLOWLY) turn up the temperature of the water enough to get my finger tips back to something resembling normal.

That was nearly three and a half hours ago, and my finger tips are still pale and tingly. Not quite numb, but definitely tingly. *Side Note: I know that Google is not necessarily the best place to go looking for answers, but #1, I am, for all intents and purposes, (except serious emergencies), snowed in and #2, I have previously come across several articles on Raynaud’s Phenomenon and it’s relationship to Fibromyalgia.* So, I did some research online and found that not only is Raynaud’s very common in people with Fibromyalgia, Lupus, and other related diseases, it can be “unmasked” as a symptom by weight loss… Suddenly the pieces fit.

I’ve been “whining” for months that my weight loss has made my cold tolerance even lower than it was to begin with. During that time, I have noticed my fingers, toes and lips turning blue after being out in cooler weather, (basically anything below 60 degrees). I blamed it on the weight loss and continued on my merry little way. Upon closer inspection, it would seem that my inability to tolerate the cold was quite possibly part of Raynaud’s Phenomenon peeking through the veil of other symptoms. My weight loss, which is at a total of 80 pounds since 2006, has simply moved the curtain aside and allowed Raynaud’s to poke it’s ugly little head out.

Seriously, why is that every time I feel like I’ve got a handle on things, something else has to pop up? I know that things could be so much worse and I know that there are many, many other people out there who have been dealt an even more wretched hand than mine. I just find the whole thing so disheartening sometimes. It’s really hard to stay positive and upbeat when you feel like there are evil clowns waiting to jump out at you at every turn.

Ok. I am done whining about it. In all reality, this doesn’t change anything. The only thing that has changed is that I now know the name of another symptom. As appealing as hiding in a dark, (warm!), corner might sound, it’s not going to happen. I am going to focus instead on all of the wonderful, amazing and totally awesome things I have in my life, like: love, friendship, shoes and chinchillas.

“Just keep swimming”.  

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. flossy1976
    Jan 31, 2014 @ 16:14:06

    Well done on your weight loss! That really is an inspiration. Yes, Raynaud’s truly sucks. At the minute my fingers and toes seem to be permanently cold. I have taken to wearing fingerless gloves in work and last night went to bed having plastered my hands in oil and wearing gloves. I’m currently waiting to hear from a rheumatologist as a number of other doctors think it could be linked to other auto-immune diseases. Joy! In the meantime I just have to wrap up warm and keep moisturising. I don’t think I could sit indoors with snow on the ground either! Too much fun to be had!

    Reply

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