Call me crazy, but…

I want off the meds. All of them.

I was doing some research recently on one of the drugs I take to treat my fibro symptoms and it occurred to me that I’ve been on most of this stuff for so long that I don’t even remember what my original symptoms were. At this point, I am on 5 different drugs for the fibro; all of which have their own set of side effects.

When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, my doctor only prescribed one medication, which I took at night, to help me sleep. Over the course of 10+ years, I’ve gone from simply having trouble sleeping to full blown insomnia at night and being completely exhausted during the day. (I have entertained the thought that maybe I’m actually a nocturnal creature trying to force myself to be diurnal, but I really don’t think that’s the problem.)

It’s like I’m caught in a vicious cycle:
– I can’t sleep. At night I take 2 different drugs to help me fall and stay asleep. Both of these medications list drowsiness, (duh), and other brain clogging issues as side effects.

– In the morning, I’m groggy. I literally can’t function until I take my 2 morning meds. Well, guess what? The morning meds both list “insomnia” as a side effect.

This is just a sample of the side effects I’m experiencing. Let’s not forget anxiety, depression and confusion… I can’t help but wonder how much of my “fibro fog” is being created by the medications I’m on.

My question is this: how do I know if I’m treating the fibromyalgia or just countering the side effects of the drugs with more drugs?

It seems to me that the only way to solve this conundrum is to go back to square one and see how I feel without any chemical interference. I admit that I find the idea utterly terrifying, however the list of side effects is even worse; not to mention that no one knows what this stuff does to you in the long run.

I haven’t decided yet how to go about getting off the meds, obviously, cold turkey is not only insane, but dangerous as well. I plan to discuss it with my doctor at my next visit, hopefully she will be willing to help. I have a sneaking suspicion that my idea is going to meet considerable resistance.

I don’t expect to be able to maintain a medication free lifestyle, I just want to see what actually needs to be treated. This isn’t going to be easy; it’s going to take a long time to get some of this stuff out of my system and re-learning how my body works without the chemicals is going to be tough, I know that. I also know that this is something I need to do in order to take control of my life.

Fibromyalgia sucks, and it is something that I have to live with, but I no longer believe that I have to live my life around it. Becoming active was just the first part of the battle; cutting through this drug induced haze is the next step. I know that there is a life outside of this illness and I won’t give up until I get there.